Its been a long time coming and some might say that is because we still find it so hard to understand what he is saying. Finally, however, we have the eagerly-awaited follow-up to the highly popular Callum's Vocab and Posh Speak with this new feature aimed providing a guide to the native tongue of Kemlsey Robb (pictured right).
It must of course be remembered that each word or phrase is delivered with a heavy guttural undertone, often influenced by several bottles of Corona or Peroni.
Luke Wright - Part of the Green Cross Code. When crossing the road, luke wright, luke left and luke wright again. Nothing at all to do with the England one day cricketer.
Bar - A friendly farewell; often "good-bar".
Wahd - Law 25 of our lovely game. When the ball passes wide of the striker where he is standing and would also have passed wide of him standing in a normal guard position.
Farve - The number between four and six.
Shah - Something the socially aware amongst us take after a game, particularly if we do not wish to arrive home to our loved ones smelling of stale sweat. Again, nothing to do with Iranian kings.
Naa - Signyfying the present tense: "I am coming just naa".
Farne Leg - This is not some disease or injury to the lower limb. It refers to that specialist fielding position where the unfortunate person assigned such duties has to run like hell to cover the wicket keeper in order to reduce the number of byes / no balls / wahds (see above).
Larme - Striking green fruit, sliced into wedges for insertion into the necks of Corona bottles.
Kewn - An eight ball. One who carries the bags back home.
Strarque - When you are facing the bowling. You are said to be "on strarque".
Arse - Frozen water that you can have in your drink, say with a gin and tonic.
Foreshore - A expression agreement with the speaker. Nothing at all to do with the beach.
Naas - Something pleasant. Not the Irish racetrack of the same name.
Boleyn - An encouraging and complimentary shout to the bowler after the delivery of a decent ball. Not to be confused with Ann, the second wife of Henry VIII.
Marquees - Not very large tents. A means of access to the pavillion as in "I have forgotten marquees."
Tarn - In English this is a small lake. A Bokspeaker will use the term to mean another place to have a few more beers as in "Let's go to tarn".
Yarrrrr - The primary indication of agreement, often accompanied by strong nodding of the head and always delivered with a straight face.
Bro - From the urban slang. Will be used in all conversations about any (male) person who is in favour at a particular point in time. Rarely used to describe an actual biological sibling. Not constrained to Boks.
Hey - Used at the end of a sentence (like many Indians say "isn't it") to emphasise the importance of what has just been said. For example, "Bro, get me on strarque, hey!".
Bra (Braai) - A BBQ held in a bro's garden. Also an item of female underwear.
Jislaaik - An expression of surprise. "Jislaaik, good shot bro" when a non-batsman strikes a four.
Tutu - This is abolsutely no reference to the former South African Archbishop Desmond. It is often heard when Kem has hit the ball into the deep and is expecting his batting partner to sprint back to the danger end so he can keep strarque. For example, "Tutu Sossidge" might be shouted at Tom Sawdon.
Naan - Easily mistaken for reference to the popular oven-baked flatbreads, sometimes stuffed with lamb or almonds and raisins that are served to accompany a Saturday night Vindaloo. However, in Bok-speak, the phrase "Big G, naan please bro" might be heard when the skipper is requesting young Gregan Savill to occupy the batting position between number eight and number ten.
Car - A fielding position known in English as 'cow' generally in the area between mid-wicket and long on which is often peppered by some 'agricultural' batsmen, particularly those from the neighbouring Isle of Mersea whose sixth finger often causes them to hit the ball high in this direction.
Barhand - You won't find this guy serving in your local pub. This is a term used to direct a recalitrant fielder into the appropriate position. For example "Coppo, gist barhand on the one, bro".
Larne - Another Irish confusion. This is not the seaport on the County Antrim coastline but simply refers to the hostelry in the nearby village of Langenhoe.
Haas - Easily confused with Tommy, the German tennis player. A Bok will use this term to mean a place of residence, e.g. "Come rarnd my haas, bro".
