VILLAGE CHAMPION BANNED IN DRUGS CHEAT ROW [02/07/08 11:19:25]
The gossamer-thin credibility of elite snooker was stretched to breaking point after John Everett, a highly respected green baize merchant and doyen of the sport who has an advocate of life bans for cheats, was accused of taking prohibited sunstances to enhance his performance yesterday.
An enraged Everett (right) denies that the beta blockers that he bought at a Marks Tey car boot sale last week were acquired to increase his concentration and give him a steady hand. "The pills looked quite pretty and they were only 20p", he fumed after learning of the charges levelled at him by his fellow players.
However, the ex-Village Champion's admission that he had taken the drug before an important Wednesday morning battle at The British Legion drew parallels with the anguish caused to the late Canadian legend Bill Werbenuik after the 1988 World Championships in Sheffield.
Like Everett, Werbenuik was a twenty stone lump who claimed that he relied on drink to get him through tough matches, but the Teasurer's protests this morning cut no ice with the local snooker governing body, the ARSE (Abberton & Rowhedge Snooker Elite).
The promptly suspended him from competing pending a formal investigation and denied him a preliminary hearing. ARSE members (pictured left) were unanimous in their appointment of ADCC's beleagured Head of Security John Stockbridge (68) to oversee the investigation.
Stockbridge was however quick to point out that people shouldn't jump to conclusions. "This will not be another of those witch-hunts which dog world sport nowadays" he said to a packed press conference at The Brow this morning, adding, "I will leave no stone unturned in my search for truth but, until then, Mr Everett should be regarded as innocent".
However, with the microphones turned off, he was overheard informing the ARSE Committee, "I have always thought that b***ard was f***ing cheat, although if he has been taking drugs, its hasn't improved his performance as he is still f***ing crap!"
Everett was unavailable for comment and apparently planned a quiet lunch with his legal advisors at a nearby hostelry.
