WHALEBONE LEADER UPBEAT AHEAD OF CRUCIAL FIXTURES [29/07/08 16:37:04]

Beleagured Whalebone skipper Paul Da Vino was surprisingly upbeat at the pre-match press conference ahead of tomorrow's crucial match against Langenhoe Primary at The Brow. Sat in the Lord Nelson snug, he traded quips and stories with the gathered hacks and exuded an air of relaxed bonhomie without having to resort to his favourite Mexican tipple.

Although unforthcoming about his starting XI, Da Vino put a positive spin on the week's preperations: "We've all trained really hard in our own individual ways and all the boys have given me 110%. They're ready to step up to the plate and give it their all. Porky Chamblerlain (pictured right) has been deep in Vicky's privet, Slinger Bacon has been on the 'H' diet and lost seven ounces, Sparky's lit up training, Le Ford has been horribly Fesslered and the Buffoon actually put in half a days work! Incredible. I couldn't ask for any more commitment."

Already a sellout, the fixture against Langenhoe's juniors is seen as a crunch match for an already under pressure Da Vino who himself warmed up for the battle by registering a golden duck at ther weekend; hardly an ideal scenario as he is sure to face a far more penetrative pace attack tomorrow.

Rumours about himself securing a sponsorship deal with Corona beer were, however, quickly brushed aside, the old duffer saying that "negotiations were still at early stage".

So at ease was Da Vino that many sportswriters think he has a cunning plan up his sleeve. Only last week he was spied in the 'bone with a couple of his old mates, recently-retired Sri Lankan test star Ive Addaputu and the hardhitting Maori, Tawera 'Airy' Downbellowa. Da Vino insisted that they'd only been talking over old times, but rumours persist that one, or even both, could be a surprise selection for tomorrow's match.

This report brought to you by the Fingringhoe Newshound