From Jonners
I returned to our beloved Brow last night after a very long and tiring trip to Liverpool. I wanted a quiet, refreshing beer to enable me to calm down from the 270 mile drive I had just done. Instead a semi-bearded bloke with a strange accent appeared and commenced abusing all and sundry. I dont recognise him and am pretty sure that he is not a paid up member, so why should the regulars have to put up with him? I am keen on fostering good relations with potential new members but this bloke is clearly a first class arse. I request the Committee refuse him access ever again and ensure that our club remains a bastion of the local community untouched by such characters.
From Dick
I am shocked that you have replaced the photo of our new tea lady with a picture of the Aussie f***wit Appleyard; has the editor finally lost his marbles???
From Simple Simon (in response to Rowhedge Ron)
I too saw Whalebone skipper Kevin Pegrum after his team's shock defeat at the hands of the Albion but I don't think he was a broken man. It is my opinion that the was just p***ed as a fart!
From Barry Rudlin
I understand that Abberton Cricket Club Committee are to investigate Treasurer's expenses as he claims for aircraft flight for his carer to be flown in from Australia?
From Anon
Please can you at least have some parity in your editing with regard to that poor wretch Kevin 'The Cock' Pegrum. Ok, so he should have batted first, he picked the wrong team, he allowed Paul Le Ford to wear white, he agreed to let Sparky bat, he had the world's best gloveman in the covers, he ignored Welts' desperate dash from Gatwick (and made him umpire and drink Corona all night) and he got bowled by a man in shorts! But apart from these few little errors I understand he captained magnificently. People forget that, compared to the last skipper, Kevin is very young, inexperienced and just learning his trade. So please get behind him and ensure that this is just a blip and not a significant downturn in The Bones' performances.
From Geoff Law, Secretary, Rednecks
Please accept our abject apologies. We tried to keep Callum here in the colonies and not inflict him on the lovely people of Abberton but he slipped though our security net and got away. Perhaps your Head of Security, the erstwhile John Stockbridge could come to the Antipodes and teach us just how you got rid of him several years ago – all expenses paid of course - we have a budget of 17 Euros which equates roughly to several million Australian dollars. Please put Callum in a plain brown paper wrapper and send him back – we will pay the postage. Better yet, mail him to Uzbekistan and we will all be well rid of him.
From Michael Abrey
Over the last few weeks it has become clear that many of our members are on a massive 'dry run'. We are talking some big names within are club, The pace setters at the moment appear to be glove man Pike 18 months and are very own Asian Damo (who has a lady friend but just can not break her duck) 36 months. What we are in need of is a wife swapping system to keep these key players healthy and a lot lighter on their feet!
From Shaun Calladine
It was a big disappointment to lose Ketts behind the stumps for most of the season, but I have to say Pikey has eased this with good performances behind the sticks on a weekly basis, it got even better on Saturday, taking four very good catches and not easy ones at that. Well done mate.
From Jonners
I really must say how impressed I am with Sparky's 30 foot long green erection which is on display just outside Dave Root's garden. Well done indeed.
From Victor the Villager
What a ripsnorter of a 20/20 I witnessed last night at The Brow. On a beautiful late June evening I had the pleasure of seeing a superb 100 from that awfully nice Mr Moxon, some hammer blows from the willow of Budgy and, to cap it all, a superb spell of leg spin bowling from young Mandy. The atmosphere was awesome as the packed throngs in the Ray Clay Appreciation Stand made their feelings well known. Well done Junior and his boys on providing such excellent entertainment.
From Paul
Somebody said that Brian White became so excited over Moxy's innings that he bought a round of drinks. Surely not? [I can confirm that I was offered liquid refreshment by the said gentleman - Ed].
From Clegg The Tyke
Having stood on the western terrace at Headingly for many a year back in the 70's and 80's, I can only agree that the atmostphere generated in your Ray Clay family enclosure on Tuesday night was on a par if not better than that at the old Yorkshire ground. Great banter and sledging and really intimidating for the opposition! 'I'll si thee!'
From Mrs Welton
I am disappointed. Having faithfully promised me that he would refrain from indulging in his puerile fantasies on your website this season, I detect that my worthless husband has recommenced his infantile ramblings under an even more juvenile selection of noms des plumes! Ridiculous!
From Richard
Thank you for Titania the Estonian Tealady. This is now my homepage.
From Alik N Icepop
I know it was a bitter disappointment losing to the rif raf from Roughedge, but where's the match report.
From the Editor
May I remind readers of the 'All Rounders' Quiz next Friday evening 10th July at the club. More team entries (four persons) are required so please support this worthy cause. Ian Collett is the man to contact.
From Mr Collins
Great to see the profiles of the ladies team have finally arrived. It is heartening to see the club acknowledging the part that the ladies play and the coverage of their games is excellent.
From Anon
Although I agree in part with the comments of Mr Collins, I feel that there are numerous shortcomings in the ladies profile section. The Editor is normally not slow to provide candid and near-the-knuckle prose but, on this occasion, he has not covered all of the aspects that might have received an airing. I call upon him to put this right as soon as possible.
From Mr H Simpson, Springfield, IL
I wonder if you realised that I very much look like the Sir John Gallant who recently was pictured on your website celebrating his 56th birthday. Admittedly I am much younger than, but I fell that there are some incredible facial resemblances.
From the Editor
It seems to be 'silly season' for birthdays at present but let us not forget the anniversary of our Head of Security, the highly-respected Mr John Stockbridge who reaches the ripe old age of 70 on Thursday 9th July.
From the office of Sir John Gallant
We refer to the recent announcement on the website. On behalf of SJ, we thank you for the picture but have discussed the figures with our legal advisers. They have suggested that proceedings be commenced against the web site manager and ADCC on the following bases: 1) Gross exaggeration, 2) Lack of respect, 3) Being unnecessary, 4) Discrimination and, most important, 5) Factual errors.
This question of SJ's experience and longevity has been raised on many occasions with a plethora of incorrect information being spread by all and sundry. There are mathematically younger players who suffer numerous injuries and are frequent visitors to A&E, a prime example being our recent visitor. Age is not necessarily a significant factor, inferior fitness and poor technique are often the cause with many of them. This should not be overlooked when comparing theoretical dates of birth.
With legal action such as this impending case, it is often recommended that a settlement be made out of court. We are willing to consider any reasonable offers, but these must include a retraction of all incorrect information and free drinks for the rest of the season. If formal confirmation of SJ's age is required to settle this, a redacted version can be provided.
From Simon Swinn (re Sir John Gallant / Homer Simspon)
The recent 'birthday boy' picture of Sir John is clearly an elaborate fake - it is definitely not him as he is not wearing a cricket jumper.
From Neil Anpray
What a shame it is that you do not publsih the Punbowl odds on the website any more. I can only assume that this is because memebers of other clubs would change their bets if they saw it. Please bring this sorely missed feature back. [To be honest, the Punchbowl had become something of a lottery with so many people wanting to take part and get in on the action. In any event, a recent spate of birthdays demanded that the space was put to better use. - Ed]
From Jonny Morris
I have always thoroughly enjoyed your excellent website, mainly because of the accuracy of the reporting. However, I have noticed a rather amateur error recently in the newest Have I Got News For You section, once more aimed at our recent Aussie visitor. You claim he has some form of flu associated with a bite from a possum. The photo clearly shows an American Opossum (genus triglutia) a resident of North and Central America only. I am sure that you meant to include a photo of the marsupial Australian Possum from the genus Australias. Please ensure that your wildlife identification improves so that I can once more enjoy your website ti its full potential. [Err, well spotted Jonny - Ed].
